Do You Want to Be a Grief Coach?

Curious about how to become a grief coach or otherwise develop a career helping other grievers? Grief coach Charlene Lam shares the eight factors needed to learn how to be an effective grief coach.

Are you interested in becoming a grief coach or otherwise working in some capacity supporting other grieving people? I’ve gotten a lot of questions recently, and I definitely have thoughts about this topic! I’m Charlene Lam. I am a certified grief coach – triple-certified, sometimes I like to say – an author, a speaker, and the founder of The Grief Gallery. 

I’ve been working as a grief coach since 2020, and holding space for my own and other people’s grief for about 10 years now. 

Here are the eight things that I think you need to consider and need to have in order to be a grief coach or another helping professional working in grief.

This post is a summary, or you can sign up to watch the full 30min video (I’ve thought about this a lot!)

1. As Grief Coaches, We Need to Do Our Own Grief Work First

It is essential to process your own losses and grief before attempting to support others. Holding space for others requires that you are not actively working through your own intense grief in that moment, as this can lead to being triggered or reacting inappropriately to a client’s experience. For instance, in my opinion and experience, someone who is only one year out from a significant loss may not be equipped to hold a retreat for others with similar experiences.

2. Grief Training and Education for Coaches

Your own experience of loss is not sufficient. Grief training and education are necessary to understand different cultural backgrounds, life experiences, grieving styles, and modalities. Being knowledgeable about various grief models and theories allows you to offer a range of perspectives and resources to clients who may grieve differently from you.

No single training will fully prepare you, but seeking diverse learning opportunities is beneficial. I’ve personally found certifications and programs like Claire Bidwell Smith’s 6-week Grief & Loss training and Megan Devine’s live 6-month certification through PESI helpful. But again, no single certification will make you 100% ready! (And I’ve learned so much from my grief coaching clients — there’s no substitute for actually practicing and developing our skills.)

3. Coaching Skills and Practice

Beyond being a naturally good listener, formal coaching training is crucial. This training helps you understand the principles of coaching as a modality — and an actual set of skills and tools. Importantly in this grief context, good coach training helps you to understand the difference between coaching and therapy. Knowing when a grieving person is ready for coaching versus needing therapy is vital. For me, developing my own modality of grief coaching by integrating grief learning with coaching skills was the right way to go.

4. Additional Training and Continuous Learning

Ongoing training beyond initial certifications is highly recommended. This includes areas like somatic training, equity-centered training (DEI), and trauma-informed training. Given the evolving understanding of grief, staying updated through continuing education is important, even though it might not be a formal requirement for grief coaches. I find resources like The Exchange from the Institute for Equity-Centered Coaching and the What’s Your Grief Community for Grief Professionals valuable.

5. Mentoring and Community

Building a network for mentoring, supervision, and community support is essential. This can involve formal supervision with experienced coaches or therapists, as well as an informal network of fellow grief coaches, clinicians, and other professionals. Having a space to discuss challenging client situations and get a “gut check” is invaluable, especially since every client’s grief journey will be unique. Again, I find the What’s Your Grief Community for Grief Professionals helpful for this. Claire Bidwell Smith has a Conscious Grieving Professionals community for her graduates, and I see that Megan Devine is adding a community offer through PESI starting July 2025. 

6. Business Skills

If you aim to make a living as a grief coach, business skills are necessary. This includes understanding business design, how many clients you can work with, your process for attracting clients, how to work with them, and how to price your services. Recognizing that being a good coach doesn’t automatically translate to a profitable business is important.

7. Marketing and Sales Skills

Developing marketing and sales skills is crucial for attracting clients. This involves branding, communicating your work effectively, and guiding interested individuals to become clients — in an ethical way. It also requires working through potential “blocks” related to money and visibility. Marketing to a vulnerable population like grieving people requires sensitivity and self-awareness.

8. Self-Care and Tending to Your Own Grief

Regularly practicing self-care and tending to your own grief is paramount. This helps you manage the emotional demands of supporting grieving clients and prevents you from making the client’s experience about your own needs. Having strategies for self-soothing and stabilization is essential. Engaging in your own grief practice, whether individual or within supportive communities like What’s Your Grief’s “grieving as a grief professional” calls, helps you show up for clients fully present and without an agenda.

What Are Your Grief Coaching Questions and Requests?

I’d love to hear what questions you have, and as I’m developing new ways to support people, let me know:

• Do you want to me to be a mentor?
• Do you want a group program?
• Do you want more videos like this where I just share what’s in my head?
• Do you want Q&A sessions?

Let me know by email Hello[at]CharleneLam.com

You can find me on Instagram @Curating_Grief

 👉 If you want to talk through your particular situation, I now have a Pick My Brain call for one-to-one time with me to ask your questions in a private setting.

Reminder: This post is a summary, or you can access the full 30min video, where I go into more detail about my journey and process.

Get In Touch

• hello@charlenelam.com