Why Curating? In this 3min clip, I share why the lens of curating is so helpful for grief:

Struggling with the belongings and physical stuff while grieving?

You may have boxes or piles of stuff that are weighing you down. A house. A childhood home. A storage unit. Boxes in the attic or basement.

This “stuff” — both tangible and intangible — is likely taking up too much space in your home, your head and your heart.

The Curating Grief: Sorting the Stuff of Life & Loss course is the gentler creative approach to making the difficult choices we often face after losing a loved one. Together, we’ll help you get unstuck and taking desired actions — so you can make space for what’s really important for you.

You get to choose the path that feels right for you:

• Pick one physical space to begin with (a drawer, shelf, or box) and gently start reclaiming that corner of your home and mind

  OR
  

• Pick one meaningful collection or category (a set of books, clothes, recipes, or something else) and explore its stories and significance through creative reflection and intention

Through weekly lessons, live group calls, reflective prompts, and compassionate community support, you’ll:

• Understand the emotional weight behind your belongings

• Take manageable steps with less pressure or overwhelm

• Begin to reclaim your space and your story with care

How do we choose what to keep after a loved one dies?

This was just one of the impossible questions after my mom died. Other questions you might have include:

• How do I know what’s important?

• How can I learn to let go?

• How do I navigate family conflicts?

• Why don’t people understand how hard this is?

• What if I can’t keep things?

• What if I choose the wrong thing and I regret it later?

Hi! I’m Charlene Lam, your grief coach and guide.

I’m a triple-certified grief coach and author of Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Dies.

Dealing with the practical and emotional aftermath of my mom’s death — her house, the estate, the paperwork, all the belongings — was the hardest and loneliest period of my life.

More than a decade later, I use my Curating Grief framework to help other grievers to navigate the practical and emotional aftermath of loss.

We will use the lens of curating and the metaphor of an exhibition to help you get unstuck, create shifts, and feel lighter.

Curating Grief can help you:

• Make sense and meaning out of chaos.

• Navigate the field of emotional landmines.

• Feel witnessed and supported in a way that works for you.

• Do the hard things, without sacrificing your health, sanity, career, and relationships.

In this 2min video, I share the origin of the Curating Grief framework:

Testimonials for Curating Grief 

More Than Just Stuff

“Why is this so hard?” If you’ve wondered this, or judged yourself harshly for still having the room, the house, the boxes, you’re not alone. It IS hard. Here’s a possible reason why:

How is Curating Grief different?

Curating Grief is a way to make sense and make meaning out of the chaos you experience after a major loss. We use the lens of curating, the evocative power of meaningful objects, and the metaphor of creating an exhibition about the person you lost – combined with the transformative tools of coaching.

At its heart, Curating Grief is about seeing and choosing what to keep after a loved one dies. This applies not just to physical belongings, but also to intangible things like memories, stories, meanings, and emotions. Using the curating lens helps you to see things in different ways.

You don’t need to be an artist, professional curator, or even consider yourself creative to use this approach. You also don’t need to have physical belongings of the person you lost.

Introducing the 3Cs: Your Creative Grieving Process

The Curating Grief framework can be understood through three fundamental questions and actions, the 3Cs: Collect, Curate, Create.

COLLECT: This is about remembering your person in all their facets — the good and the bad, all the stories, moments, memories, and emotions that come up when you think of them. It’s like unpacking everything.

The guiding question: How do I remember my person?

CURATE: In this step, you become the intentional curator of your memories and experiences. You choose, filter, and spotlight what you want to keep and how you want to remember your person. It’s about making choices with intention.

The guiding question: How do I want to remember my person?

CREATE: This is about bringing that intention into reality and deciding how you want your person to be remembered, whether just by you or also by others. This creation can take many forms — an actual exhibition, a book, an altar, a digital space, or simply the narrative you carry forward.

The guiding question: How do I want my person to be remembered?

This 3Cs process is also a form of self-coaching. It helps you explore your grief and decide how you want to continue your connection and relationship with your loved ones. Coaching changed my life, and can be so helpful for many grieving people, as part of a spectrum of care.

Frequently Asked Questions

SPEAKING

Book me to be a grief speaker for your community or event.