LOOKING FOR GRIEF SUPPORT? WELCOME.
You want grief support that’s different, namely help with grief that actually works and is right for you.
MY WORK IS ABOUT OFFERING A COMPASSIONATE, ACCESSIBLE APPROACH TO HELPING YOU NAVIGATE THE PRACTICAL AND EMOTIONAL AFTERMATH OF MAJOR LOSS.
HELP FOR GRIEF
You want to feel better. You want to have hope. You want to find your way back to living your life. But things are feeling heavy.
And no wonder! We can be weighed down by all the “stuff” that comes with loss:
The physical stuff: Belongings, paperwork, heirlooms, junk, piles to sort through.
The responsibilities: The estate, probate, endless decisions.
The emotional stuff: Regret, resentment, anger, anxiety, guilt, the strained relationships. The sheer exhaustion.
It’s a lot. And you’re not alone. Not anymore!
Here’s what I believe: We’re all curators after a loved one dies. No gallery or artistic ability needed. Just by being human, we have the ability to shape and create our own experiences of grief after major loss.
When someone important to us is gone, we face choices—what to keep, who gets what, how to go on. The Curating Grief® framework offers a compassionate, empowering way to navigate these difficult decisions. After a decade of creating and holding space for my and others’ grief, I’ve discovered that a purely clinical approach isn’t enough for healing after major loss. We need a blend of the practical and poetic, grit and grace. And one-size-fits-all assumptions about our grief don’t help.
START HERE and Choose Your Own Adventure (Because We’re Each on Our Own Paths Through Grief):
WHAT HURTS: AM I GRIEVING RIGHT?
Are you worrying if you’re “grieving right”? Concerned you may be stuck because you’re not moving on, or therapy doesn’t seem to be working?
You’re not the problem. Grief isn’t the problem! (And you’re NOT grieving wrong.)
It’s OK that you’re “still grieving” after a month, a year or a decade. How human of you!
It’s OK that you want to keep their belongings. It’s OK if you want to let them go.
What if YOU are OK? Because grief is the natural response to loss, and all our pathways through grief will be different. Maybe the problem is you’ve been getting the wrong kind of grief support.
Read the Essay: The Wrong Kind of Grief Support Adds Injury to Injury
WHAT HURTS: I’M OVERWHELMED BY THE STUFF
Are you feeling paralyzed by all the choices you have to make about the belongings and physical stuff?
The conventional advice from home organizers likely won’t cut it.
It’s not as straightforward as asking if something “sparks joy” — not when we’re deep in grief or overwhelmed by emotions.
In my signature talk Curating Grief: How to Choose What to Keep After a Loved One Dies I share how I found a creative approach to this dilemma after my mom died.
WHAT HURTS: FAMILY CONFLICTS
Maybe you thought loss would bring your family together, but it’s actually tearing you all apart. Or maybe the stress of loss has added to already difficult relationship dynamics.
Read the Essay: OPP aka “Of Course They Did”
Have you ever heard the saying, “We all grieve differently?” We sure do … a clash in grieving styles and mismatches in expectations cause so much additional suffering when we’re already experiencing the pain of losing a loved one. Here’s one of the most helpful tools I offer my clients.
Or let me be your grief guide (because you don’t have to do it alone):
READ THE BOOK | Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Dies
GET PERSONALIZED GRIEF SUPPORT
GRIEF COACHING
Get indvidual, private grief support tailored to your needs.
HELLO
I’m Charlene!
I’m passionate about using the lens of curating to help grieving people navigate the aftermath of loss and when they feel ready, to transform their pain into something beautiful.
After my mother died suddenly in 2013, I found myself drowning in grief … and my mom’s belongings. It’s a common problem: Feeling overwhelmed and unable to make choices after the death of a loved one. My uncommon solution: Curating an exhibition about my mother.
I developed the Curating Grief® framework to help others process grief in a creative, accessible way. (And no, you don’t need to be an artist or creative to curate!)
As a grief coach, I helps grieving individuals to feel lighter and better equipped to move forward with your own fullest life.
As curator of The Grief Gallery®, I presents international exhibitions featuring the belongings of loved ones lost, with installations at events in London, LA and Lisbon.
As a speaker, I deliver talks and workshops on the power of creativity and storytelling for healthy grieving, sharing my Curating Grief approach with thousands of grievers and wellness professionals.
I stars in the short film Curating Grief: Loss and Objects, directed by UK filmmaker Jamie Max Lee.
I’ve found my own pathway through grief — one that helped me find my way back to myself. Losing my mom changed my life forever, but I still live a beautiful, joyful life. That’s my hope for all grieving people, including you.
A proud Chinese-American New Yorker, I’m based in Lisbon, Portugal. I works with clients worldwide (and really want you to ask me about the soy sauce in my mother’s kitchen.)
I’M PASSIONATE ABOUT HELPING YOU TO MAKE YOUR OWN PATHWAY THROUGH GRIEF:
*Embrace the role of curator—no art degree or fancy collection required.
*Build a continuing bond with your loved one, whether your loss is recent or decades ago.
*Handle physical belongings in compassionate, accessible ways.
*Navigate complex feelings, including guilt and regret, around relationships with both the living and the dead.
*Make space for your grief and what is truly important to you.
Whether you’re grappling with piles of stuff or piles of grief (or both), discover a creative, gentle path forward—without losing yourself or leaving your loved one behind
EVENTS
Monthly Grief Gathering
Pull up a virtual chair and join grief coach and curator Charlene Lam for The Grief Gallery’s free monthly gathering for community connection and creative inspiration. We meet on Zoom the last Wednesday of every month at 2pm ET.
Next gatherings: Wed Nov 27th, Sun Dec 22nd (special date)
HELP WITH GRIEF
Grief Resources
Grief, Culture and Identity
Culture, family of origin, race, ethnicity and identity can impact how we experience grief after a significant loss.
F Your Rainbows: Grief has No Set Timeline
Here’s a way to check in with yourself and your grief. How’s your inner grief weather?
WORK WITH ME
Grief Coaching
UNPACKING YOUR GRIEF AND LOSSES
Have you made space and time for your grief? Whether your significant loss(es) are months, years or decades ago, you might have unacknowledged or unprocessed grief that’s weighing you down. Let's unpack so you can feel lighter and more equipped to move forward.
CHOOSING WHAT TO KEEP AFTER A LOVED ONE DIES
Struggling with hard choices after the death of a loved one? How do we decide what to keep, and what to let go of? I can help.
CREATING THE MEMORIAL YOU REALLY WANT TO GIVE THEM
Facing a significant date? Whether it's a birthday, the anniversary of a death, or a major holiday, creating a memorial or commissioning artwork can be the best way to remember your person.
Or contact me at hello[at]charlenelam.com
I get more aha's from you than my therapist!
It's felt like an impossible task to try to sort through my mom's belongings. I feel like I have a place to begin this process now and it doesn't feel so terrifying. Thank you.
I love this approach as a creative outlet for grief - I'm totally inspired.
MY UNIQUE APPROACH
Curating Grief
Curating Grief After Loss
Curating Grief™ is the name of my unique approach to grief support. Why "curate" grief? Find out in this video.
Grief Events
I love speaking about grief, from death-related loss to life’s many transitions. Visit my Speaker Page or contact me at hello@charlenelam.com to learn more.
Monthly Grief Gathering
Join The Grief Gallery’s free monthly grief gathering, on Zoom the last Wednesday of every month at 2pm ET/7pm UK.
Next gatherings: Wed Aug 28th and Wed Sept 25th
Guilt and Regret Workshop
Guilt and regret are such common emotions amongst grievers — and some of the most painful.
Join me for a live 90min workshop on Zoom. Wed Oct 2nd at 2pm ET /7pm UK
Exhale Wellness Festival
A new online festival helping people to navigate life’s challenges and changes, from the team behind the UK’s Good Grief Fest. Oct 5-6
My group coaching session How do I unpack and process my grief? is Sat Oct 5th at 11am ET/2pm UK time.
See All Events
Meet me in …
Did you know I offer 1:1 coaching and private retreats in-person? You are welcome to come to Lisbon, Portugal where I’m based. Plus these options:
Los Angeles, CA – Nov 2024
End Well conference, Fri Nov 22nd
Grieftastic Book Fair, Sat Nov 23rd
PAUSE BIPOC Resource Fair (details to come), Sat Nov 23rd
NYC and the Berkshires – Jan 2025
Grief Camp at Kripalu, Jan 12-17
NYC details to come
Mexico – Feb 2025
Nayarit Riviera (by Puerto Vallarta)
Contact me at hello[at]charlenelam.com to inquire
MORE OF MY WORK
Speaking and Curating
CURATING
The Grief Gallery
I'm the founder and curator of The Grief Gallery.
As curator of The Grief Gallery, I commission artwork and present exhibitions exploring grief and loss during international events and festivals, from London Design Festival to End Well.
Charlene is a thought leader with a fresh, unique voice on how we can hold space for our grief –– and I could not be more grateful for her contributions to the grief, end-of-life and creative industries.
SPEAKING
Grief Talks and Workshops
Key Speaking Topics:
- Why we’re ALL curators after a loved one dies.
- The role of art, creativity and storytelling for healthy grieving and post-traumatic growth.
- How to choose what to keep after a loved one dies.
- Managing transitions and change.
CONTACT
- hello@charlenelam.com
CONNECT
YOU ARE ALL WELCOME
WORK WITH ME
GRIEF COACHING
MEET ME IN LISBON
SPEAKING AND WORKSHOPS
MONTHLY GRIEF GATHERING
Join us for The Grief Gallery's free, supportive grief group gathering the last Wednesday of the month, 2pm ET (7pm UK).
SEE ALL EVENTS
CURATING GRIEF PODCAST
- Listen to the Curating Grief podcast
GRIEF RESOURCES
Need help with grief? I can help.
Get in touch: Email hello [at] charlenelam.com
Note: Coaching and coaching consultations are not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care, substance abuse treatment, or other professional advice by legal, medical or other qualified professionals. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, contact 911 or your local emergency services.
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