Grief Event: Museum of National History in Lisbon

Grief Event: Museum of National History in Lisbon

Grief Event: Museum of Natural History, Lisbon

Art and Science meet at a free public grief event in Portugal

In the Lisbon area? I’m bringing The Grief Gallery to the National Museum of Natural History and Science of the University of Lisbon on Sunday 31 August, 2025, at the invitation of artist Marco Fedele di Catrano.

Guided Tour & Conversation: The Grief Gallery with Charlene Lam

O Museu Nacional de História Natural e da Ciência (MUHNAC) da Universidade de Lisboa

Rua da Escola Politécnica 56, Lisbon

Sun 31 Aug, 11am-12:30pm
Free Admission
Meeting Point: Entry Foyer

As part of Empty Spaces Between Ladders, Marco Fedele di Catrano’s exhibition at the Museum of Natural History and Science in Lisbon, artist and curator Charlene Lam will lead a guided tour through the exhibition and the museum’s spaces, sharing the inspiration behind her creative project The Grief Gallery.

The museum, a place of conservation, holds within it a profound tension: life and death are intertwined across its collections of creatures, plants, minerals, specimens, and evolutionary histories. Objects and bodies are preserved for study, their processes of change interrupted—time stopped by formalin, taxidermy, or other human intervention.

What do we leave behind?
Bodies and belongings.
Memories and mementos.

Together, we will reflect on questions of life, death, and our human impulse to preserve:

  • In what ways does loss shift our perceptions of objects, time, space, and life itself?
  • How do we choose which stories and objects get the spotlight?
  • What roles might private and public spaces play as repositories for memory and memorials?

Participants are invited to bring a meaningful object—something from their own life or belonging to a loved one—to share with the group in this collective exploration of remembrance.

Questions? Hello@CharleneLam.com

August 2025

Photo of exhibition space in a natural history museum. Glass cases with microscopes and specimens. Hanging images of a skull and anatomical drawings.
19th Century Teaching Laboratory at the National Museum of Natural History and Science, University of Lisbon. Large open space with a mezzanine walkway. On the main floor, tiled worktables with valves for chemical experiments and demonstrations.

hello

I'm Charlene

I help grieving people feeling burdened by responsibilities, resentments and regrets after the death of a loved one to feel lighter –– so you can live your own fullest life. 

After the sudden death of my mother Marilyn in 2013, I put my life, work and grief on hold as I struggled to deal with the estate, paperwork and belongings.

Healing took time -- and it took help.

I'm a certified grief coach, and I developed my Curating Grief framework to help people process grief in a creative, accessible way. Learn how to move forward, without leaving your connection to your loved one behind.

 

Learn How to Work With Me

Get In Touch

  • hello@charlenelam.com
Monthly Grief Gathering

Free, on Zoom, the last Wednesday of every month.

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THE BOOK

Check out my book Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Dies

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I offer grief coaching for individuals and groups. Want to learn more about grief coaching?

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Mother’s Day Grief: Missing My Mom, Grieving as An Adult

Mother’s Day Grief: Missing My Mom, Grieving as An Adult

Missing My Mom, Grieving as an Adult

Grief coach Charlene Lam reflects on Mother’s Day

I was 35 when my mom died. After more than a decade of marking Mother’s Day without her, I still find myself bracing for the holiday when it comes around.

Some years are easier than others. I throw flowers in the river, or dedicate something delicious to my mother. (She loved cheesecake and Belgian waffles.) Other years, I just try to ignore the day. (If you’re struggling with how to approach Mother’s Day as a griever, I always advocate for doing what is right for you.)

This year, I’ve been sitting with the realization that my mom also lost her mother in her mid-30s. My Pau Pau died of cancer when I was 5 years old, so the photo above must have been taken not that long prior.

I’m feeling so much compassion for my mom, dealing with her mother’s death and raising a daughter without her own mom’s guidance.

In turn, I feel so much compassion for myself — for little me confused by the death of her beloved grandmother, for 35-year-old me stunned by the sudden loss of her mom.

(And I contemplate further how my mom would have been chagrined to have me experiencing a similar loss at a similar age.)

I’m feeling so much tenderness and compassion … for all of us who are living our lives without the human beings who were our guides and anchors.

Take super good care of yourself, fellow griever, no matter which loss you’re processing, no matter what your relationship was like, no matter how long it’s been. 💖

May 2025

Additional Resources:

Mother’s Day Grief: How to Cope or Even Celebrate After Loss

hello

I'm Charlene

I help grieving people feeling burdened by responsibilities, resentments and regrets after the death of a loved one to feel lighter –– so you can live your own fullest life. 

After the sudden death of my mother Marilyn in 2013, I put my life, work and grief on hold as I struggled to deal with the estate, paperwork and belongings.

Healing took time -- and it took help.

I'm a certified grief coach, and I developed my Curating Grief framework to help people process grief in a creative, accessible way. Learn how to move forward, without leaving your connection to your loved one behind.

 

Learn How to Work With Me

Get In Touch

  • hello@charlenelam.com
Monthly Grief Gathering

Free, on Zoom, the last Wednesday of every month.

RSVP
THE BOOK

Check out my book Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Dies

LEARN MORE
GET GRIEF SUPPORT

I offer grief coaching for individuals and groups. Want to learn more about grief coaching?

LEARN MORE
SPEAKING

Book me to be a grief speaker for your community or event.

LEARN MORE

It’s OK to Grieve and Mourn After Losing Physical Stuff

After Fires and Disasters: It’s OK to Mourn the Belongings and Stuff We Lost

It’s not “just stuff” for many of us, especially grieving people. When we lose belongings and meaningful objects, it hurts.

 “At least you’re alive.” “It’s just stuff.” During the LA wildfires in January 2025, we often saw posts like this on social media. Well-meaning, most likely, but like many platitudes that we hear after a significant loss, it can feel like our pain and losses are being minimized.

Yes, our belongings are technically “just stuff” AND they can be so much more. For many of us humans, especially grievers, our belongings and physical stuff may help us to feel grounded, safe and connected to people we love. And when we lose those meaningful items, it HURTS!

​In a special gathering of The Grief Gallery, hosted by curator and certified grief coach Charlene Lam and LA-based Dr Julie Shaw of Hello I’m Grieving, we made space to mourn the belongings and meaningful objects we’ve lost — and to honor the role they played in our lives. Whether attendees were actively dealing with the aftermath of the LA wildfires or grieving a long-ago loss, all were welcome.

You’re not “silly” for mourning belongings you’ve lost. You don’t need permission to grieve the stuff.

Replay: Mourning the Stuff We’ve Lost

​In a special gathering of The Grief Gallery, hosted by curator and certified grief coach Charlene Lam and LA-based Dr Julie Shaw of Hello I’m Grieving, we made space to mourn the belongings and meaningful objects we’ve lost — and to honor the role they played in our lives. Whether attendees were actively dealing with the aftermath of the LA wildfires or grieving a long-ago loss, all were welcome.

Here are some of the video highlights from our conversation:

Permission to Grieve the Physical Stuff

In these 17 minutes of thoughtful conversation, we

  • make space to mourn the stuff
  • see what’s attached to the meaningful stuff
  • talk about our experiences of loss, from childhood losses to coping with the LA Fires
  • give ourselves permission to grieve it all

Talk Excerpt: The Power of Owning What We’re Grieving

“Are these just physical things?  I think it’s a multitude. When we talk about stuff or the things that we’ve lost or that we’re mourning, it really is up to you.

It’s the same thing, just with how individualized our grief is, how individualized we are as humans and the individualized experiences that we have, that what we are defining as stuff and the things that we have lost and that we will mourn, that is up to you.

There’s a lot of power in that, in saying that this is my thing, this is my stuff.

I think even as we go through life, we talk about the baggage that we’re carrying: ‘This is my stuff.'”

– Dr Julie Shaw, founder of Hello I’m Grieving

Talk Excerpt: Grief and Your Relationship With Stuff

“A question that I like to ask people is: What’s your relationship with stuff?

Because usually, in the context of grief, I find that it gets all jumbled together. Like in my example, there’s my relationship with my mom. There’s my relationship with her house. There’s my relationship with losing my mother and that experience.

And then there’s the relationship with her stuff, which took over my life for two years while I figured out her estate. And then there’s also the relationship with my stuff. And then tangential to that, there’s my husband’s relationship to stuff, which looks very different from my relationship with stuff.

So I think that might be interesting for you, and when I say you, I mean generally everyone, for us to consider, what is my relationship with stuff? Has my relationship with stuff changed after significant loss?

So, for example, the soy sauce in my mother’s kitchen. When my mother was alive, I have never gotten teary over the soy sauce and her cooking oils before. After she died, that soy sauce represented so much, and it felt so precious.

I know that my grief response changed in terms of my relationship with stuff. I always enjoyed things, I enjoyed belongings, but suddenly stuff represented my connection to my mother. Stuff represented connection to my grandmother in a much deeper way.

Stuff represented security in a much deeper way. I had lost my mother who was my security, so now her house or her stuff represented security.”

– grief coach Charlene Lam, creator of Curating Grief

What about you? Do you grieve for items you’ve lost? What object do you still wish you had?

When we make space for grief, we also make more space for joy, beauty and more of what we want.

The Grief Gallery curator Charlene Lam showing pin cushions to a visitor at the London Design Festival 2022

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR LA WILDFIRE SURVIVORS

​Remember, meet yourself where you are in your grief and in your current needs. Are you:

… in survival mode after the LA fires or other disaster/major loss?

… giving yourself permission to mourn the stuff and anything else you want to grieve?

… trying to choose what to keep and how to let go?

LA Fires links:

– LA Grief resources from Claire Bidwell Smith https://www.lagrief.com/

– My friend Dr Julia Coangelo has been sharing her wisdom from surviving the Lahaina fire on Maui 18mo ago: https://www.instagram.com/drjuliacolangelo/

​Honoring the Stuff and Choosing What to Keep:

​My signature Curating Grief talk (14min) touches on many helpful concepts:
https://youtu.be/osjO5BB5aPY?si=khgz2iD3brPa11w-

My book Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Does expands on these concepts, whether you’re dealing with physical stuff or emotional stuff: https://curatinggrief.com/book

​You can download the prologue, intro and sample chapter for free here.

hello

I'm Charlene

I help grieving people feeling burdened by responsibilities, resentments and regrets after the death of a loved one to feel lighter –– so you can live your own fullest life. 

After the sudden death of my mother Marilyn in 2013, I put my life, work and grief on hold as I struggled to deal with the estate, paperwork and belongings.

Healing took time -- and it took help.

I'm a certified grief coach, and I developed my Curating Grief framework to help people process grief in a creative, accessible way. Learn how to move forward, without leaving your connection to your loved one behind.

 

Learn How to Work With Me

Get In Touch

  • hello@charlenelam.com
Monthly Grief Gathering

Free, on Zoom, the last Wednesday of every month.

RSVP
THE BOOK

Check out my book Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Dies

LEARN MORE
GET GRIEF SUPPORT

I offer grief coaching for individuals and groups. Want to learn more about grief coaching?

LEARN MORE
SPEAKING

Book me to be a grief speaker for your community or event.

LEARN MORE

How Long Does Grief Last? Grieving and Curating on Your Own Schedule

How Long Does Grief Last? Grieving and Curating on Your Own Schedule

Feeling rushed to “move on” or move forward after a major loss? Contrary to what popular culture portrays, there’s no set timeline for grieving and mourning.

Proof of Life

In the beginning, everyone wants proof of death.

How did she die? When did he die?
How could this happen?
Is she really gone?

There are forms to fill out
Paperwork to complete
Obituaries to write
Questions to attempt to answer

Later, sometimes much later
After the forms have been filed
The piles of paper have diminished
Our focus turns to proof of life

We remember not how the person died
But how they lived
Not the beginning and end dates of a life
But the dash between

This is where we celebrate PROOF OF LIFE

– London, October 2015

 

This poem was my curator’s note for the first exhibition of The Grief Gallery, which was called “Proof of Life.” Up until that point, my life had largely revolved around the end date of my mom’s life. I focused primarily on surviving and navigating the impact and fallout from her sudden death.

The first couple of years were mired in what I call the Proof of Death stage—taking care of all the paperwork, emptying her dream house, just barely coping. After all the forms were filled out, her estate settled, and her ashes scattered, I felt like I had the luxury and the pleasure of celebrating my mom’s life.

If you’re deep in the process of dealing with probate, the estate, sorting through the belongings and other death admin, I want you to know at some point this will be done.

The first exhibition I presented with my mom’s belongings. The start of The Grief Gallery. London, October 2015.

Grief has no set timeline.

Your grieving doesn’t have to be completed after a month or a year, or a lifetime. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to feel the same, like the searing raw pain earlier on in your experience of loss. You can grieve on your own timeline and at your pace.

 

How My Grieving Timeline Looked

My mother died suddenly of a stroke in January 2013. A couple of months later, we hosted a celebration-of-life gathering for friends and family as her memorial. The first year or so, I didn’t cry much at all. I mostly felt numb, and was entirely focused on the practical tasks associated with paperwork, her belongings and the estate. I did not present my first in-person exhibition with her belongings until October 2015 — more than two and a half years after she died, and a year after I sold her house.

I still grieve and mourn my mother, more than a decade later. It’s not the same feelings — my grief has evolved, its edges have softened, and I, too, am different. I can honestly say that I now remember my mom with more love and so much less pain, though it’s almost always bittersweet. And that’s OK.

How Grief Might Look Like For You Over Time

Your grief may look similar to mine, or very different. Maybe your person had been ill for a long time, so you were already preparing yourself, mentally, emotionally, and practically. Maybe you’d already had discussions with your loved one about how they wanted to be remembered. Maybe your grieving process is calling for you to create and present something now. Or maybe your grief is asking you to slow down and to just be for a while, to not add pressure to do anything new.

I’m always in favor of doing what is most supportive for you in your grief.

The Grief Gallery curator Charlene Lam showing pin cushions to a visitor at the London Design Festival 2022

Sharing items from my mom’s house and my grandma’s pin cushion at The Grief Gallery’s pop-up at the London Design Festival, Sept 2022.

My Grief Keeps Evolving

Each time I curate an exhibition about my mom, I learn more about her, about myself, and about grief. Having these continuing mourning rituals, beyond the initial funeral or memorial, is one of the best parts of the Curating Grief approach I developed, in my opinion! We can use the lens of curating and the metaphor of exhibitions to create ongoing opportunities for us to celebrate our person and for us to be witnessed in our continuing process of grieving.

…

Adapted from the book Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Dies

I’d love to hear from you — Connect with me on Instagram @curating_grief or on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/charclam/ or attend The Grief Gallery’s free monthly gathering.

Feel free to reach out hello@charlenelam.com

Want help unpacking your own experience of grief and loss, and finding your way through the storm of major loss, especially after the death of a loved one? Find out more about working with me and my grief coaching packages.

hello

I'm Charlene

I help grieving people feeling burdened by responsibilities, resentments and regrets after the death of a loved one to feel lighter –– so you can live your own fullest life. 

After the sudden death of my mother Marilyn in 2013, I put my life, work and grief on hold as I struggled to deal with the estate, paperwork and belongings.

Healing took time -- and it took help.

I'm a certified grief coach, and I developed my Curating Grief framework to help people process grief in a creative, accessible way. Learn how to move forward, without leaving your connection to your loved one behind.

 

Learn How to Work With Me

Get In Touch

  • hello@charlenelam.com
Monthly Grief Gathering

Free, on Zoom, the last Wednesday of every month.

RSVP
THE BOOK

Check out my book Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Dies

LEARN MORE
GET GRIEF SUPPORT

I offer grief coaching for individuals and groups. Want to learn more about grief coaching?

LEARN MORE
SPEAKING

Book me to be a grief speaker for your community or event.

LEARN MORE

F Your Rainbows: Grief Has No Set Timeline

F Your Rainbows: Grief Has No Set Timeline

F Your Rainbows: Grief Has No Set Timeline

People love to offer silver linings and rainbows to grievers. But when you’re devastated by loss, you might not want to hear it. That’s when you might think: F* Your Rainbows

The problem is, when you’re devastated from a recent loss, you might not want to hear about silver linings and rainbows:
“At least they’re no longer suffering.”
“At least they lived a good life.”
“He would want you to be happy.”

(Hint: Anything that starts with “at least” is unlikely to be helpful.)

As a griever, you might well be thinking: F*ck your rainbows.
🌪️ ☔ 🌩️ 🌧️ 🌦️ 🌤️ ☁️ ☀️ 🌈


I use a weather analogy to describe stages and phases of grief and loss:


🌪️ The thick of the storm – You’re in the terrible early stages of dealing with the emotional and practical aftermath of the death of a loved one. You and your family are just trying to survive the storm.

🌧️ 🌩️ Persistent dark, rainy clouds – You’re resuming parts of your life, like school or work. It may feel like you’re just going through the motions. There may be a feeling of disconnect, between other people cheerily living their lives, and the gloominess you’re experiencing.

🌦️ 🌤️ Clouds dissipating and peeks of sunshine – You’re out of the worst of the storm. You’re smiling a bit more, even when you think of your loved one. You feel more hope that though life will never be the same, life can go on.

🌈 Ready for Rainbows – Time has passed, some healing has been done. You find comfort or meaning in remembering your loved one. You can spot and appreciate the proverbial rainbow after the rain.


It’s OK to be where you are, no matter your inner grief weather.

These aren’t linear stages. Some days, it may all be dark clouds. Others, an unexpected ray of sunshine comes through. Then the clouds may return.

Just remember: The sunshine is always there, beyond the clouds.

On the darkest days, the sun still shines, even when we can’t see it yet. And even if we’re not ready for rainbows yet, maybe someday we will be.

I like using this metaphor of inner grief weather to check in with ourselves and others.

How’s your inner grief weather today?
If you were to express it in a weather emoji or two, what would it be?

I’d love to hear from you — Connect with me on Instagram @curating_grief or on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/charclam/ or attend The Grief Gallery’s free monthly gathering.

Feel free to reach out hello@charlenelam.com

Want help unpacking your own experience of grief and loss, and finding your way through the storm of major loss, especially after the death of a loved one? Find out more about working with me and my Unpacking Grief coaching package.

hello

I'm Charlene

I help grieving people feeling burdened by responsibilities, resentments and regrets after the death of a loved one to feel lighter –– so you can live your own fullest life. 

After the sudden death of my mother Marilyn in 2013, I put my life, work and grief on hold as I struggled to deal with the estate, paperwork and belongings.

Healing took time -- and it took help.

I'm a certified grief coach, and I developed my Curating Grief framework to help people process grief in a creative, accessible way. Learn how to move forward, without leaving your connection to your loved one behind.

 

Learn How to Work With Me

Get In Touch

  • hello@charlenelam.com
Monthly Grief Gathering

Free, on Zoom, the last Wednesday of every month.

RSVP
THE BOOK

Check out my book Curating Grief: A Creative Guide to Choosing What to Keep After a Loved One Dies

LEARN MORE
GET GRIEF SUPPORT

I offer grief coaching for individuals and groups. Want to learn more about grief coaching?

LEARN MORE
SPEAKING

Book me to be a grief speaker for your community or event.

LEARN MORE

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  • hello@charlenelam.com

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